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Sexual promiscuity comes at a high price. The Cheese Factor For practical reasons, let's focus on how to catch what we are after and want. Could you ever catch a mouse if you set the trap without baiting it with "the cheese?" You would have a lot of mice in the house before you found one that accidentally got caught. So, should you bait the mouse with cheese or peanut butter or not bait it? Sexual intimacy is the cheese. If you give into sexual intimacy without that marriage ring on your finger, chances diminish that you'll be able to turn that relationship into marriage. Sex is the reason why guy's date girls and girls date guys. It's the age old story of the birds and and bees. And you can close the deal much easier by holding out until after marriage. Besides, it makes for more romance. If the mouse is interested, he'll put a ring on that finger first. Otherwise he's a rat. It's too easy to toss a relationship because of earthly frictions that come between us. There are lots of inner dynamics working within and between us and it takes time to sort things out. It take time to see what matters and who really cares. With establishing boundaries, there is the possibility of permanent scarring. Why play at marriage unless you mean it? Play for keeps. If you've dealt your trump card early, there is a lot less to keep the marriage issue alive. Why buy the cow if the milk is free? Then there is the emotional side to consider. The more physical one becomes, the harder it becomes to back up or for that matter, to back out. What happens if you made a bad choice because of character, social values, money issues, the in-laws ... ? The more physical your relationship, the more intense the sense of loss and jealousy developing, especially when one is jilted in favor of another fish in the sea. So why set yourself up to get hurt? Do you really want to give away the cheese? The more sensible, but romantic, people date within boundaries without the physical entanglement. That's the way to get to know someone. That way no one gets hurt too much other than a few bruised feelings. Those who have not been taught to establish boundaries, who have bought into the hedonistic lifestyle get caught on the emotional roller coaster of physical intimacy. Many lose focus on work, their intellectual pursuits, careers suffer, friendships are strained. There is a way to change the game to gain.* The Victim If you put your hand into the cookie jar and sampled the cookies, how can you justify feeling betrayed when your lover takes off with someone else? When a long-lasting relationship which had experienced physical intimacy breaks up, usually one person suffers for the rest of their life. That person will have to deal with jealousy, lack of self worth, lack of self esteem, suicidal thoughts, lack of motivation, lack of faith and a ton of other lack of's. That victim could be you. The Vanquished Emotional pain is worst than physical pain according to the poets and songwriters. Unless you are a total sociopath, you'll feel like crap if it is someone else that you caused complete misery to. You probably would not hold yourself responsible for their suicide, emotional volcanic's or downward spiral, yet it occurred during your watch. When one is physically intimate with a person in a relationship, one expects that that person be 100% true blue. When you betray that trust and choose another to be intimate with, you have violated the very fabric of human faith and cause emotional havoc in your prior partner's life. That firestorm can be prevented. The Way Whatever is good, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, do that. Look at your priorities and live them. Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries' publisher says that "Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts, emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own." The subject is discussed and examined with their ten laws of boundaries and eight myths about boundaries. You know what is said about playing with fire, so don't set yourself up for disappointment or worst. Reclaim your life and find some happiness. By modeling respect and healthy limits, you learn to stand up for yourself. So have fun, go out, be romantic, fall in love for the right reasons, hear the wedding bells and live a long and happy life.
* Most people think themselves as moral and making good choices. The real good news is hidden from them, it is veiled to the perishing. At times we get a glimpse of light through the veil of life. We realize there is much more to life. God does not want to withhold something from us, but it is His plan that we ask. It is through our asking that we put the plan into motion. When that something is set in motion, the only thing that can satisfy that need is Who created it in the first place. We celebrate Christmas because God planned and sent His son to be born in this world to show us how to live. He points the way to right living. He'll become more than a teacher to you. He is God in the flesh sent to redeem us. We wrestle before God with our issues and problems. and if we want to please Him, we'll wait until marriage before we consummate a relationship. It's right for honesty, good mental health and paves the way for longevity in a relationship. ** free reprint rights only if credit is given by way of hyperlink to: |
Boundaries
by Henry Cloud Free Dating Services Trials home categories • Senior friend /dating
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